It’s New Year’s! Time for Resolutions…and a Second Grade Math Lesson? By Dr. Laura Triplett

It’s New Year’s!  Time for Resolutions…and a Second Grade Math Lesson?

By Dr. Laura Triplett

 

Mrs. Mackowen was my second grade teacher.  Now, she’s little more than a blurry memory, but some of the things I learned in her class continue to find use and purpose some 23 years later.  For instance, simple division.  Learning how to divide four by two or twenty by five has come in handy innumerable times, but never is simple division more relevant than during New Year’s. 

 

Right now, we’re surrounded by three types of people:  First, there are those who are casually tossing around lofty resolutions that we all know are totally bogus, albeit well-intentioned (you just gotta love someone who honestly believes and wholeheartedly pledges to become fluent in Chinese, become a professional Irish high-stepper and join Michael Flatley’s dance troupe, take a summer tour of America’s national parks (becoming a professional conservationist along the way), and forgo cheese…and trust me, I do believe I’ll be able to accomplish all of this).  Second, we have those who make resolutions with such seriousness that if you even dare to question the feasibility of said resolutions, the resolver will, quite literally, burst into flames (not surprisingly, I do become irritable when someone questions my potential capability for high-stepping).  And finally, there are the realists (or you might consider them the party poopers) who refuse to even acknowledge that we’ve entered into a new year, let alone resolve to do or become something different (Greg, are you reading this?  In all fairness, there’s no need to change when you’re already perfect).

 

But, let’s get back to Mrs. Mackowen’s simple division and what role it plays in kicking-off 2009.  Most of us go overboard with our resolutions.  The majority of New Year’s resolutions are about eating less, exercising more, getting in shape or looking better.  These resolutions typically come in the form of, “I resolve to lose 100 pounds!” or “I will exercise for two hours every day!” or “I’ll never order dessert again!” or “I resolve to be back to the same size I wore in high school by summer!”  No doubt, these are winning resolutions, but they are not realistic.  By mid-January – and that’s giving the benefit of the doubt – these resolutions have done nothing other than give a swift kick to our self-esteem.  Not only did we jump ship when it came to working toward our goals, but worse than that, we beat ourselves up for resolving to do things we knew we could not possibly do.  Too bad we didn’t resolve to set ourselves up for failure.  That’s one resolution at which we all could succeed!

 

But, hang on.  Hope is far from lost.  It’s still early January and if you are holding out hope to make your resolutions a reality employ simple division.  That’s right, divide each resolution by half (or more, if necessary).  If you said you would lose 100, turn it into 50.  If you said you would exercise two hours every day, go with one hour three times a week.  If you said you would become fluent in Chinese, enroll in Berlitz and pick up enough of the language to sound as though you’ve just returned from some totally glamorous humanitarian mission.  Learn to high-step to the point that your Dad will say, next time he’s watching the Irish dance PBS special, that “you should really be up on that stage!” 

 

Resolutions are mostly fun, but they can also be meaningful and achievable.  This year, resolve to set yourself up for success, instead of failure.  Think of Mrs. Mackowen and her simple division.  And then, when you surpass the low-bar you’ve set for yourself, just think about how good you’re going to feel when you “casually” (i.e., forcefully) mention to everyone you know (and strangers, too) that you resolved to “lose a few,” but you obviously didn’t recognize your own potential and motivation because you are already well past that meager resolution you set back at the start of the year.  “I’ve learned my lesson about expecting too little from myself,” you’ll say in an oh-so-casual tone, “Next year, I’m going to make my resolutions more reflective of my strong willpower and endless capabilities.”

About Dr. Laura Triplett

Dr. Laura Triplett (Ph.D., University of Arizona) is an Assistant Professor of Communications at California State University, Fullerton. Her research focuses on the social implications of physical appearance, the effects of mass media’s depiction of women, stereotyping, and stigma. She enjoys skiing, traveling (her current dream trip is a storm-chasing tour during tornado season), and playing with her dog. She is passionate about equal rights, animal rights, and shoes. Dr. Triplett resides in Orange County.

People-Watchers Beware: Don’t Let Lookism be the Lenses in Your Binoculars — By Dr. Laura Triplett

Do you ever stop to wonder how we have allowed society to reach this point? That point being the moment in time when it became acceptable to comment or question a woman’s physical appearance, and in particular, her weight? If you have turned on the television, listened to the radio, logged onto the Internet, opened a magazine or even had a casual conversation with a friend, you are likely to have either been exposed to or participated in a discussion about another woman’s weight. And the sense of entitlement – perhaps you have noticed that society seems to feel it’s literally owed an explanation for why a woman looks the way she does – that accompanies our doing this brings up a very important question, “Why the heck are we doing this?”

What we are doing is known as Lookism and it is one of the most common, albeit harmful, forms of stereotyping. And unfortunately, women are subjected to it to a far greater degree than their male counterparts. It is a simple process that, in part, involves using a person’s physical appearance to make assumptions and judgments about who that person is. Recall the last time you met someone new; before you even interacted with her you used physical characteristics to draw conclusions about who she is. For example, you might have interpreted her blonde hair to mean that she lacks intelligence or thought her black sweater was evidence that she suffers from depression. For a woman, weight is the most defining characteristic others use to make judgments about who she is; weight cues perception about everything: From how likeable she is to whether she can be trusted.

And as bogus as we all know this is, Lookism endures. We were not born to be Lookists, rather we have been socially schooled to find certain physical characteristics more desirable than others. Worse, we have allowed the media to set unrealistic standards for female aesthetics that are so ridiculous, women should be amassing right now…gathering for a mammoth uprising against outrageous beauty expectations. We should march on…well…on the offices of Vogue and the headquarters of Cover Girl to tell them that we will no longer let them decide what women should look like!

But, alas, we don’t assemble…we never gather…and we certainly haven’t risen up against the absurd expectations that women should look like Barbie (even if looking like Barbie means that women are forced to walk on all fours because the unrealistic proportions of the teeny-tiny plastic standard to which we are endlessly compared, would make it impossible to stand erect). Instead, we idly stand by while Jennifer Love Hewitt, a size two, is chastised for looking too heavy on her Hawaiian vacation, and while Eva Longoria Parker has to deny pregnancy rumors because, apparently, she dared to eat, and while one of the female contestants on Bravo’s “Make Me a Supermodel” was told her legs were too “jiggly” and could never be put “on a runway” (as if they were autonomous from their owner and had the option of walking on their own) because it would be too “horrifying” for the fashionistas and glitterati lining the catwalk.

So, why the heck are we doing this? And why are we letting it be done to us? Women should want to be healthy. And happy. And most importantly, real. I can’t speak for you, but I would much rather walk erect than join my dog on all fours even if this means I’ll never look like Barbie. How a woman looks should not be anyone’s business, but her own. No woman should care more about how a woman looks than herself. And when a woman cares most about how she looks – and forgoes letting Lookism be her guide – she will be healthier, happier, and more real than ever before.

Why the “Me” in “I’m doing this for me” is Key — By Dr. Laura Triplett

Him.  Her.  Them.  Us.   Most people are motivated to change who they are for someone else.  And that’s just not right.  Ever decreasingly, the phrase “I’m doing this for me” is uttered and when it is, it is often said with guilt, insincerity, and irritation.  Guilt for daring to be “selfish” enough to take the time to do something for yourself; insincerity because you know that this urge to change came from an external rather than an internal need; and irritation from being put in a situation where change is a requirement to fulfill someone or something’s expectations.

So, what’s wrong with saying what you mean and meaning what you say when it comes to proclaiming, “I’m doing this for me?”  Absolutely nothing.  In fact, when we actually do something for ourselves we become better people.  Any effort that is made under the auspices of bettering yourself because you genuinely want to be better is like a gift to humankind.  Wouldn’t it be wonderful if our society was one comprised of people who better themselves — becoming the people they truly want to be – because it is their desire to do so and not just a response to what others think they should do?

When you talk about personal change, any endeavor that you want to be successful has to begin with the phrase, “I’m doing this for me.”  Because if you’re doing it for any other person or worse, because you think it’s what society expects of you, then the journey becomes a fight and success, an infinite burden.  But when you really want to do something — and you do it because the very thought of it makes you desperate with anticipation and excitement — then you know you’re truly doing it for yourself.

Physical change doesn’t come easy, but the difficulty of it is made ever so sweeter when you remember “I’m doing this for me.”